Waking up today with just one thing on my mind. My mother. She has been ill off and on since she was down here visiting in late Jan. 2010. Today she goes to see a pulmonary specialist to have her lung function testing done and she will also get another chest x-ray. We are hoping that she can be diagnosed and then be given a miracle drug to help her bounce back to where she was before. My mom has always been pretty healthy and active and it has been very hard for her to accept this now weakend physical state.

The anticipation of a diagnosis brings about feelings of doom and gloom along with the dread of receiving the call from my sister to tell me what they find. I will be working this morning sitting on my office chair that will have the sensation of pins and needles as I wait for this call.

I have been praying about this for weeks, no months, and have been praying for a quick recovery for my mother and so far it just has not happened. I know I should pray for God's will in this and sometimes I do but, I would prefer to remain in my selfish will that my mom will be just fine. Once again I will try to turn all of this over to God as I start my morning and just find comfort and peace in knowing that God's will, not mine, will be done.